See, being a part of your family is a privilege and has its responsibilities.
And part of those responsibilities is helping around the house.
It's a rule.
It's a law.
And if your children refuse to help out, you can return the favor in spades; refuse to take them to their outings.
Plain and simple.
Now, I do *not* advise that you simply make the above statement to your kids; instead, tell your kids you're going to call a family meeting about household responsibilities and they're welcome to bring their ideas/suggestions.
At said meeting, *spell out* your expectations. Ask for their input.
Listen respectfully. If you feel they have valid points, acknowledge that, validate them, and then move onto what the law of the house will be.
And then *stick* to what you decree.
Remember, your home is *not* a democracy, it's a benevolent dictatorship and you're the benevolent dictator.
I think that's inappropriate, but my wife thinks it's okay.
Can you please tell me how I can convince her I'm right?
Thanks a lot,
Sorry, no can do.
Can't give you any words to convince your wife that you're correct, as personally, I feel you're about as wrong as a New Age Ninja who decrees that neon rainbow outfits work peachy as camouflage in a gathering of Navy Seals.
Let me ask you a simple question:
Can you name any top fashion designers….who are male?
Guaranteed, at some time in their life….they actually (gasp!) touched a sewing machine.
See, activities/sports do *not* inappropriate make; instead, it's the personal judgments of parents which cause the issues.
So I'd say instead, ask yourself…what *really* bothers you?
Is it that your son isn't *manly* enough?
Is it that you worry he'll be laughed at?
Is it that you and your wife are having other more serious issues, and this is simply a convenient way to deflect the *real* problems?
What's *really* the issue at heart?
Tackling that…might deliver far more efficient results.
My 9 year old is getting ready for 4th grade. She was bullied a bit in 3rd grade and worries that it will carry over to this grade.
How can I help her cope?
Frances in Delaware"
Your daughter is very wise to recognize that bullying might continue…once a victim, *always* a victim *unless* she grows a pair of balls and learns how to *not* be a victim.
The first thing you have to do is ensure she knows, from the bottom of her heart, that you are in her corner 120%.
Forget this moose excrement about "zero tolerance" for fighting or standing up for oneself. If your kids' school has the blazingly stupid policy of suspending both parties if one is simply defending herself…make certain your child knows that if she stands up for herself and gets suspended, you'll reward her.
Just had to get that off me chest I did.
Roleplay with your child.
Play the part of the bully.
Get her used to standing tall and not backing down.
Find out who her friends are (ideally, she *does* have them unlike me back then), invite them all over your house, and talk about how it's great they're all there for one another – there's strength and confidence in numbers.