From the mailbag:
"Dear Mama Bear,
My 9 year old is getting ready for 4th grade. She was bullied a bit in 3rd grade and worries that it will carry over to this grade.
How can I help her cope?
Frances in Delaware"
Your daughter is very wise to recognize that bullying might continue…once a victim, *always* a victim *unless* she grows a pair of balls and learns how to *not* be a victim.
The first thing you have to do is ensure she knows, from the bottom of her heart, that you are in her corner 120%.
Forget this moose excrement about "zero tolerance" for fighting or standing up for oneself. If your kids' school has the blazingly stupid policy of suspending both parties if one is simply defending herself…make certain your child knows that if she stands up for herself and gets suspended, you'll reward her.
Just had to get that off me chest I did.
- Roleplay with your child.
Play the part of the bully.
Get her used to standing tall and not backing down.
Find out who her friends are (ideally, she *does* have them unlike me back then), invite them all over your house, and talk about how it's great they're all there for one another – there's strength and confidence in numbers.
Other tips for avoiding being bullied include:
- What can I do when my child is being bullied?
- My Child is Being Bullied—What Should I Do?
- How to Avoid Being Bullied in Middle School
and don't forget about:
Hope the above helps! Bullying is lousy….but your child does *not* have to be the victim.
ps – speaking about bullying, have you seen: