“My child bites. Help!”

From the mailbag:

"Dear MamaBear,

My child bites.  How do I get her stop?

Sincerely,

Holey Dad"

Dear HD,

MamaBear adores  questions like this, because the answer is 'way 'way 'way simpler than teaching children to appreciate raspberry Pixie Straws!

Simply put…

When your child bites someone…*you* bite your child.

I told you it was simple!

You'd be surprised at how quickly a child will *stop* painful actions if they learn that it will be done immediately to them!

Now, I'm not advocating that you chomp thru the skin, of course, but apply enough pressure to make the child *feel* it and *feel* it in a most discomforting way as well.

After you bite your child, dry her tears and explain that hey, you chose to bite Aunt Bertha, this is what happens in response. 

Then lead her down the logic path by saying,

"That sure didn't feel good, did it?  Well, imagine how you made poor Aunt Bertha feel! 

You dishonor yourself and treat yourself real bad when you do something so mean….and you're better than that!  Never bite someone or cause someone pain.  Bullies do that, not wonderful children like you."

Yep, MamaBear is big on telling kids when their own actions dishonor themselves…and how they're worth more than that.

I'd be real surprised if your child sank her fangs into another person again!

But if she did (after all, some kids need repetition), bite her again.  Each time she bites someone, make her feel the pain herself.

And then make certain to empathize with her feelings, and highlight how she's better than that.

It's worked great for me!

Thus speaks….MamaBear