RANT – The #1 Stupidest Parenting Fail… Are YOU Guilty of This?

Sometimes…I confess.

MamaBear just utterly despises namby-pamby, wimpy pathetic parents who lack the brass-plated balls to inspire their kids….in the *right* way.

Let me explain.  I now decree the following.

Children can scientifically be divided into 3 easy-to-generalize categories.

Leaders, Followers and Independents.

  • Leaders are those kids around whom their peers gather.  They say "jump", the other kids say, "How high?  And while I'm in the air, might I massage your feet at the same time, pretty please?"

Yep, I'm sayin'.

  • Followers are those sad pathetic excuses for carbon-based life-forms who waste oxygen and who blindly follow others without thinking.  They live to be told what to do, when to do it, and how to then worship the leaders at the completion of it.

    Blech.

  • Independents are kids who think for themselves and both refuse to be led by the leaders or craven lemmingize with the followers.  Their attitude is to live life as they see fit; whomever likes them is welcome to be friends, and whomever doesn't….hell, it's their loss indeed.

In my family, HD1 and HD2 and HS1 and HS2 are all independents.

True, there was a time when HD2 showed a tendency to be a follower; luckily I recognized that when she was in 2nd grade and crushed that tendency dramatically (it was easily done, actually; I merely spent a huge amount of time figuratively beating into her her own personal greatness and magnificence, and how if someone doesn't like her, that someone is a damned fool idjut.  It worked beautifully; HD2, as you already know from reading my blog, is my bonafide space alien who lives life to the fullest and makes no apologies for herself).

But I digress.  :)

With the above as an introduction, let me now regale you with the #1 stupidest parenting fail.

And it's this.

Parents who dismally *fail* to lead by example.

  • It's truly nauseating. 

Contrary to what some parenting gurus would like you to believe, kids are *not* born with an innate sense of right and wrong.

Kids are *not* born knowing how to think about others if that means they themselves might get hurt in the process.

Kids are *not* born understanding empathy!

Kids need to be taught.

They need to be led by example.

And who's the biggest example in their lives?

You are.

The all-powerful parent.

Tell me now, and tell me seriously.

How are you leading your child by example?

If you see an injustice happening while walking with your child outside, do you….act?

  • Or do you ignore it, tell your kid, that's not *my* problem, and walk away?

If you see a friend treating another like moose feces, do you get up in that friends' face and say, "HEY!  That's just *not* right!"

  • Or do you shrug your shoulders and say, well, they're adults, what can I do?

Well?

The very worst thing you as a parent can do is fail to guide your child, lead by example, and walk the walk you talk.

After all, they're the ones who make up our next generation…and they're also the ones who will take care of *you* when you become 'way elderly in the future!

You see….

You *always* want to ensure your kids not only know right from wrong, but also have the backbone to take a stand and make a difference.

It only takes one small example to inspire others.

Our society recently saw this in action!  To wit:

Jennifer McKendrick, Pennsylvania Photographer, Refuses To Photograph Teen Bullies

…A Pennsylvania photographer has chosen not to photograph a group of high school girls for their senior portraits after she found evidence of the teens bullying other students on Facebook.

Jennifer McKendrick, from Indiana County, Pa., wrote on her own Facebook page earlier this week that she came across another Facebook page with nasty comments from four high school girls whose names matched her scheduled clients.

She emailed the girls and their parents to cancel their senior photo shoots, while including screenshots of their comments to explain why she was calling off the session.

McKendrick wrote more about her decision on her personal blog in a post titled "I Won't Photograph Ugly People." …MORE…

Think about this for a moment, okay?

This photographer saw a group of high school seniors bullying another on Facebook…and refused to have them as a client.

She blogged about it over at "I won't photograph ugly people".

Now *that*…..is admirable….beyond mortal comprehension.

There's been lots of talk about her already:

I especially like the comment at

to wit:

…Especially on the topic of bullying. We all love to wring our hands about mean behavior in kids, but few of us really do anything about it. And the fact is that grownups too often are setting the standard for dissing other people. That includes, for example, parents gossiping about neighbors in front of their kids. It also includes politicians. Our state legislators were extremely quick to pass the nation's sternest anti-bullying law for schools. But just listen to the language they use when talking to and about each other. It's easier to prescribe for others than to take responsibility for our own actions….MORE…

See that quote?

We all love to wring our hands about mean behavior in kids, but few of us really do anything about it.

So now…

You.  Tell.  Me.

Are *you* leading your child by example?

And if not….why the *hell* are you a parent in the first place?

It's something to think about…indeed.

Parent powerfully,

— MamaBear

ps – speaking about bullying, have you seen:

How to brazenly jolt your children into taking you seriously

One of the biggest problems ineffective parents have today is compelling their kids to take them seriously.

MamaBear can truly understand that, as every now and then…her children push back as well.

Sucks, that.

Take yesterday morning; I had noticed that one of my cubs was slacking big-time when it came to completing evening chores.

I tried being understanding.

I explained how I really would prefer *not* to wake them up in the wee hours of the morning to finish their responsibilities.

Apparently…it went in one ear and out the other, and waved madly at me as it few into the sunset.

The solution?

  • Morning rolled around…and I calmly woke up the kid in question.

KiQ was very unhappy indeed.

Which made for some very unhappy times afterwards.

Which brings me to the point of this post. 

You're the parent.

Your children are, well, the kids.

You are the one with the power to walk the walk you say.

When you set expectations, and then let them seep away, you're telling your kid, "hey!  I'm not strong enough to follow up with the consequences I promised you!"

And that begins a very vicious cycle indeed.  :)

To brazenly jolt your kids into taking you seriously….

Follow up on what you've promised.

Even if it's painful for you.

You're doing your children zero benefit if you allow them to slack…and you to take the easy way out.  After all, life doesn't work that way….so make sure the reality of living with you as a parent mirrors that.

It will benefit them muchly as they grow up.

Parent powerfully,

— MamaBear

 

 

 

 

 

Painlessly Simple Way To Make Punishments EXTREMELY Effective

Idjutness.

My gosh, MamaBear *hates* idjutness.

We're talking "hate" as in "despise more so than spilled gourmet coffee on one's slumbering sleeping moose".

'course, kids being kids, they're *supposed* to push boundaries and make mistakes and otherwise cause agonizing opportunities for more grey hairs to emerge on our heads, so….it's part and parcel of life's little tormenting woes.

Take, for example, this morning.

Today I decided the guest room had to be swept up and neatened.  Bounding happily into this refuge of weight lifting, I noticed that yet again, HS2's mind visited Hawaii after he finished chowing down on watermelon…leaving the rinds in various tastefully icky places about.

See MamaBear.

See MamaBear calmly implode!

After calling back HS2 and pointing out this tremendously idjut action, I told him,

"You're going to write 100 times, 'I will not bring food into the guest room'.  Go.  Now."

Allowing several minutes to elapse so I could regain what little sanity I still possessed, I noticed that HS2….disappeared.

  • As in, I couldn't find him.

Until I looked in his sister's office, where he was carefully writing out all of his 100 sentences as you can see.

#16, #17, #18....

End result?

He completed all 100 sentences neatly without complaining.

But here's the coolest part:

He asked me to grade them.  And I made sure to write:

Overall Attitude: A+!

Let's review now, shall we?

  • 1.)  HS2 required consequences for his actions.
  • 2.)  I took the painless easy way out, parenting-wise, and gave him 100 sentences to write (which hopefully has ingrained themselves in his mind).
  • 3.)  Instead of imploding in self-pity (which he had done, say, a year ago), he got his materials, sat down, and quietly wrote all of his sentences (also helping his handwriting!).

Do you realize what this shows?

HS2 has grown, leaps and bounds, in maturity.

You have no idea how long I've been waiting to see such growth!!

And because the consequences involved writing, they also helped him improve his legibility too.  An added bonus!

Thus, to make consequences extremely effective, always ensure they *add* to your child's *overall* growth.

They don't have to know that, mind you….but they'll reap the benefits in the future.

And that, of course, is a Very Good Thing indeed.

Parent powerfully,

— MamaBear

Fixing Your Drama Queen Kids When Their Self-Punishment Goes Overboard

Consequences.

Annoying deserved consequences.

You know, giving consequences for dippy actions is something I can completely support!

For 3 out of 4 of MamaBear's kids, it works beyond perfectly.  Said kid acts more idjutotic than a drunk moth testing out the heat of a nuclear flame, said kids receive appropriate consequences, and life just goes on.

'course, then…..

Then….

Then there's HS2, my youngest.

He's my extremely sensitive, "does his best but his focus flies into Mt. Vesuvius when his brain gets engaged" boy.

In other words, he has zero malicious/stupid intentions but wow, his carelessness manages to hose him more than fireworks hose  the worlds largest toothpick city, ie:

Take yesterday.

Please.

Yesterday, I took my kids to visit a friend for a playdate.  And upon spying the TV remote control…

HS2 figured it would be a magnificently glorious adventure if he dismantled it and bravely took out the batteries and secretly put them back in.

Which would have been barely tolerable if…he remembered then to reattach the back cover.

Sigh.

Luckily, a black hole did *not* engulf said cover, so the issue was fixable.  But on the way home, I told HS2,

"Each one of your siblings has my permission to dismantle something of yours.  You simply have to learn to keep your hands *off* of stuff you don't own!  Let's see how much you like it then."

Simple, eh?

Well!  HS2 figured that wasn't enough.

A few hours later as I was happily relaxing and reading, HS2 came to me with tears in his eye, held something out to me, and said, "I didn't deserve this so I broke it".

  • It was his cherished North Carolina glass pendant that I had just bought for him a few days ago.

Broken.

In two, I might add.

And then he said,

  • "I thought about it, Mom, and decided I *had* to break it because I broke the remote. It's fair, see?"

What an incredible boy.

Of course, I took him in my arms and told him, "No you didn't have to do that, Mom makes the consequences, not you, I would never have you break something you loved so much!  That is overkill and now doesn't fit the crime."

10 minutes later, all was sunny etc.  But it sure did give me pause as to the values of right and wrong I'm instilling in my kids…and possibly how with HS2, it has to be guided *bigtime*.

Which brings me to the point of this post.

I am a massively *huge* believer in the punishment fitting the crime. 

  • You hit your brother to be a jerk, your brother gets to hit you back.
  • You forget your kitchen chores, you do your siblings' chores as well the next day.
  • You leave dishes in your office, you lose the ability to *use* your office for several days.

But when kids take the whole notion into their hands and go overboard, it has to be addressed immediately.

What I did with HS2 was present several negative scenarios like the above, and then asked him, what would be a good consequence?  ie,

"If you whined to go to a trip after I said to cut it out, should I:"

  • Refuse to take you on that day?
  • Refuse to take you during that week?
  • Blow up the store?

Luckily, HS2 did *not* choose option 3.  He *did* choose option 2.

"If you back-talked to your parents, should I:"

  • Give you to another set of parents who wouldn't care?
  • Take away every privilege imaginable until the next solar eclipse?
  • Have you write down what made you do that, how you could have acted differently, and how you'll act in the future?

Given that option 3 is how I deal with such matters, that's what he chose. 

And so on, and so on.

Now I know why they call "parenting"… "a loving adventure in dismantling your sanity, precious day by day".  :)

Thus, if you have a drama queen or drama king who believes that if one act of self-sacrifice is worthy, a whole Shakespearean play of it must be even better…..do yourself the following favor.

*Spell out to your kids* what constitutes the punishment fitting the crime.

It will save your future parenting a heck of lot of grief….trust me on that. 

Parent Powerfully,

Mama Bear

The Foolproof Cure For Weak Ineffective Parenting

Good morning!

Finally, after 6+ days, MamaBear is back in her lair, fresh from a roadtrip down to scenic North Carolina where she defied convention, common sense, and utterly beyond any shadow of a doubt….*rocked*.

Literally, I might add.

But that's a story for another post!

Today, I'd like to ask you a plain and simple question.

Is your parenting weaker than a newborn baby's attempt at weight-lifting a Mack Truck?

If so, shame on you.

You're laying the groundwork for a miserable future life for yourself!

I mean, think about it.

  • If your 5 year old refuses to listen to you today, what will happen when she is a 15 year old who has less respect for you than a starving lion does for a juicy wildebeest?
  • If your 7 and 9 year old fight constantly in the car, what will happen years from now when they learn how to be subtle in their abuse to one another?
  • If your middle-school student refuses to clean her room, what will happen when she's in high school and refuses to participate in expected household chores?

Weak parenting is not only horrible for yourself (witness the countless cases of elder abuse) , but also for your children as well.

You're basically sending them out into the world with miserable adult skills…and reality will sooner or later kick them in the teeth bigtime.

When you yield to weak or namby-pamby parenting, you're *refusing* to gift your children with boundaries.   This causes them to push and push and push, just to see what you will *not* allow.

Great set of skills for later in life, eh?

And when they start acting up in school, what will you do?  Bail them out?  Make excuses for their miserable actions and behaviors and the fact they've turned into minature little scum puppies?

I think not.

You *know* in your heart if you're an effective parent or not.

And if you're not, here's the foolproof cure for weak, ineffective parenting.

Realize your weak ineffective parenting actions today…will have horrible consequences for the rest of *your* life.

Ideally as a parent, it should be enough to realize you're scarring your kids by your lousy parenting skills.

But if not, consider…number 1.

You.

You will be reaping the soul-searing repercussions from your ineffectual parenting for the rest of your freakin' life.

Don't you deserve a better old age than having to deal with worthless adults who were shaped by your wishy-washy upbringing?

I sure think so!

So…when you find yourself being challenged by your kid, or having to instill boundaries that they hate…remember the following.

Raise them right *now*, and you're on the path for a healthy family dynamic for the rest of your life.

And that is something truly admirable to strive for.

Parent powerfully,

— MamaBear

“How can I get my kid to stop lying?”

From the mailbag:

"Dear MamaBear,

My 8 year old lies.  Alot.  Sometimes it's about minor things like if he's finished the chores or not, other times it's about more important things (did he do his homework etc.).

How can I get him to stop lying?

Brad in Delaware"

Dear BiD,

Lying.

Argh.

Lying is one of the worst sins in MamaBear's book!

I had the same issue with HS2; from the ages of 6 to early 8 or so, he'd every now and then just flat out lie.

Really dumb lies too, like what you describe (those are stupid lies because you can easily check up on it).

Here's how I dealt with it…perhaps it will help you too.

Step 1.)  Explain in detail to your son that you *know* when he is lying, so lying is simply pointless.

Actually, it's pretty easy to tell if your kid is lying to you via his body language – watch how he breathes, where his eyes look, etc. 

And when you instill in him that no matter what, you *will* know the answer…it at least gives him pause.

Step 2.)  Explain in detail the consequences to lying.

And make them painful too.

When I caught HS2 in a lie, I would immediately implement the consequences. 

  • It might be writing 120 times, I will not lie. 
  • It might be playing 52 pick up 17 times.
  • It might be immediately cleaning his room, the kitchen, the laundry room, etc.

Whatever the consequences were, they were meant to cause distress and discomfort so he would remember them.

Keep in mind, of course, it takes several repeat experiences for the lesson to sink in!

HS2 would lie, get punished, and then sometimes months would go by until the next slip.  But every time; there would be consequences.

Step 3.)  After doing the consequences, sit, cuddle and *talk* it out.

Make no mistake about this….this is one of the most important steps!

Kids lie for a multitude of reasons…you want to understand just what caused this lying to happen.

  • It could be they wished things would be different, so they pretended they were.
  • It could be they were mad at something else, and took out their anger on you.
  • It could be lots of reasons!

With HS2, the reasons generally were:

  • He was afraid of the consequences so he lied to get out of them (but ended up having them doubled).
  • He was ashamed of his actions and lied so I wouldn't find out (I did)
  • He didn't think he could make things better, so he lied to pretend they were (they got worse).

One of the best tips I learned regarding lying was to tell my kids,

"When you lie, you dishonor *yourself*.  You're better than that!"

I'm big on respecting oneself, you see.  :)

So…apply the above 3 steps, and see how they help.  I'll bet you'll see improvement soon in the future if (and only if) you're consistent about it.

Thus speaks….MamaBear

How NOT to Horribly Embarrass Your Children (and have the favor returned)

Sometimes….MamaBear gets real tired about being understanding…y'know?

My gosh,  it would be sooo much easier if I could simply decree to my cubs, thou shalt read my mind, do what I want, and obey me unquestioningly without fail.

Alas, life…it just doesn't woik that way!  And not only did I sure as heck find that out this afternoon…but I also realized that I was wrong as well.

I know, I know…the horrors!

Still, though, I hope never go grow sooo old and set in me ways that I cannot learn and evolve meself.

Here's what happened.

It was a bright sunny day, and HS2 was scheduled to have a playdate at the local park.

Yay!

I enjoy talking with the mom, and for 2.5 hours, life was sweetness and light and fluffy unicorns bouncing across the verdant grassy plains (alright, the kids had a blast at the playground.  :)  )

Now, HS2 is almost a good head higher than his friend, and at the very end of the playdate, they said goodbye and he held her hand 'way over her head.

I figured, hmmm, HS2 doesn't realize his own strength, and took hold of his ear without twisting/etc., figuring that he'd realize, ahah!  I should perhaps not be doing this!

Okay okay, hope springs eternal and all that jazz!  That sure didn't work at all; instead, he pulled an attitude on me, pretended to be in great pain, said, Mom, why did you doooo that to me, and walked off.

Mental note to my kids – walking away from Mom after she just allowed you a great playdate for 2.5 hours is less intelligent than diving into a pool of molasses and thinking you'll emerge squeaky-clean.

Sigh.

So, after saying goodbye, I walked after HS2, told him, you walked away from me, I am *not* dealing with you, and stalked to the car, with him trailing after me.

At this moment, you might imagine…I was smoldering kinda sorta like a volcano from the pits of Hell (minus the marshmallows, of course).  However, as is my habit, I simply spoke in extremely quiet tones to HS2, told him he embarrassed me horribly, and my gosh, that was no way to treat me at all.

But after we got home…..and he got control of himself…and I chose to be receptive as well, he wrote down what was going thru his 9 year old mind.

And what it was….it never even was a consideration to me.

You see, HS2 was embarrassed by me correcting him in public.

And he chose to imitate a black hole because of this minor fact.

When he told me this, I stepped back and really thought about it.

Holding ears worked really well for my cubs when they were younger, but indeed…I really *should* be able to verbally cue HS2 when he might not be aware of his strength/etc.

In other words, I totally was wrong.

But if he hadn't chosen to explain his feelings to me, I'd never have realized from where *he* was coming as well.

Talk about a teaching moment for both of us!

HS2 and I then talk about what, what should I do if I feel the need to correct him in public?

  • Should I take him aside?
  • Should I say any cue-words to get his attention?

He suggested that I combine both, ie, get his attention *and* pull him aside to talk quietly with him.

And I think that's a perfectly reasonable request indeed!

So, the moral of the story is:

Kids are capable of being embarrassed by you…just as much as you can be embarrassed by them.

Whenever difficulties flair between you and your kids in public, do *not* automatically assume you know or understand the driving causes.

Instead, make sure to get the communications moving!

That way, neither of you will embarrass the other.  It will help for smoother sailing in the future, I guarantee it.

Parent powerfully,

— MamaBear

How To STOP Brother and/or Sister Teasing From Destroying Your Family

MamaBear has some words of wisdom for you, she really does.

And it's this.

Never ever *ever* get between her and her 38th cup of coffee in the morning!

Truly, attempting this foolhardy adventure is more dangerous than testing the tensile strength of a Mylar balloon via the edge of a brand new machete.

But I digress.  :)

Let's get onto the topic of the day! 

If there's one thing MamaBear hates, it's this.

Ready?

Siblings (ie, brothers, sisters) who tease one another.

Oh. My. Gosh.

It's guaranteed to not only send me into orbit, but cause the creation of brand new, squeaky-clean galaxies via the black hole that springs into being.

In other words, I'm utterly insane about there being a complete and total absence of teasing in my household.

Well!

There we were this morning.  I was making French Toast for HS1 (ensuring the cinnamon and vanilla and honey and everything were all dancing together in perfect peace and harmony, much like:

No, I did *not* just date myself, why do you ask?

But I digress yet again!  :)

Anywhos!

All of the ingredients were melding themselves together like coffee and zero-calorie sweetener, when HS2 strolled into the kitchen and started something similar to….this.

Followed by,

"You didn't do your chores last night!"

For some reason, HS2 didn't notice me standing at the counter and start to smolder like 3 cubic tons of fireworks.

That was, until HS2 noticed HS1 looking in my general direction.

So, very quietly, I asked HS2,

  • "Are you teasing your brother?"

and he immediately responded,

  • "Why yes mother, it certainly does appear that I lapsed in my general attitude towards my brother and indulged in great idjutness."

Okay, that was a total lie.  He really said,

  • "No!"

To which I said,

  • "Are you lying to me?"

And amazingly (really!) his answer was….

  • "Yes."

Okay, well, really…it's kinda sorta difficult to say, "Jeepers Mom, even though I was Nah nahing to my brother, of *course* I wasn't teasing him!  I was…um…..praising him and it's opposite day so I wanted you to *think* I was teasing him and…."

So I quietly reminded him how Lings do *not* tease, how he's much better than that, and how he will now be doing his brother's chores for the next few days as a consequence.

He accepted this punishment as deserved (yay!).

Which brings me to the point of this post!

To stop your kids from teasing one another, simply:

Address the situation:

  • Right then and there
  • Comfort the teasee
  • Tell the teaser he or she is much better than that and how they've dishonored themselves
  • Give whatever consequences are deserved *right at that moment*.

Remember…

The key to halting teasing between siblings is consistency!

Do *not* let them get away with it, even once. Implement any consequence that gets the point home.

And if the teaser complains, double the consequences.

It might take some time, it definitely cause big huge amounts of grey hairs to take up residence on your head, but trust me on this…

Stomping out teasing between brothers and sisters is a Very Good Thing Indeed.

Do you have any other ideas?  I'd like love to hear them below!

Parent powerfully,

— MamaBear

 

“My child bites. Help!”

From the mailbag:

"Dear MamaBear,

My child bites.  How do I get her stop?

Sincerely,

Holey Dad"

Dear HD,

MamaBear adores  questions like this, because the answer is 'way 'way 'way simpler than teaching children to appreciate raspberry Pixie Straws!

Simply put…

When your child bites someone…*you* bite your child.

I told you it was simple!

You'd be surprised at how quickly a child will *stop* painful actions if they learn that it will be done immediately to them!

Now, I'm not advocating that you chomp thru the skin, of course, but apply enough pressure to make the child *feel* it and *feel* it in a most discomforting way as well.

After you bite your child, dry her tears and explain that hey, you chose to bite Aunt Bertha, this is what happens in response. 

Then lead her down the logic path by saying,

"That sure didn't feel good, did it?  Well, imagine how you made poor Aunt Bertha feel! 

You dishonor yourself and treat yourself real bad when you do something so mean….and you're better than that!  Never bite someone or cause someone pain.  Bullies do that, not wonderful children like you."

Yep, MamaBear is big on telling kids when their own actions dishonor themselves…and how they're worth more than that.

I'd be real surprised if your child sank her fangs into another person again!

But if she did (after all, some kids need repetition), bite her again.  Each time she bites someone, make her feel the pain herself.

And then make certain to empathize with her feelings, and highlight how she's better than that.

It's worked great for me!

Thus speaks….MamaBear

Behold My New Name: “Not My Problem” Mom! (Dealing With Whining)

Sigh.

Sometimes MamaBear thinks that life would be ever so much easier if Free Will was totally removed from my kids' vocabulary.

Wouldn't that be a blissful paradise indeed?

Instead, let's see…I could replace it with:

"Do what you're supposed to do without fail so I can finally slow down the generation of grey hairs on me head!"

Alas, 'taint a'gonna happen.

This morning, HS1 unwisely chose to engage in the Battle of the Breakfast with me.  I'll be writing more about that when I auto-generate an extra 13 hours today.

Anywhos! 

After surviving that delightful interlude of ungodly character-building-ness, it came to pass that he possessed only 4 minutes to get ready for school.

I noticed that he was letting his office mutate once again into the Land of the Sullen Swamp Creatures, and told him (note: I did *not* ask):

  • "HS1, neaten up your office.  Now."

My ever-lovin' son replied:

  • "But Mommmmmmm, I have to get ready for school!"

My reaction:

  • "Not my problem.  Do it."

His response:

  • "But Mommmmmm, I'll be late!"

My reaction:

  • "Yes you might.  That's not my problem.  You know you're supposed to keep your office neat.  Do it."

His response (my gosh, this is the stuff of epic Hollywood motion pictures like:

(Btw, does anyone remember seeing the original (ho ho) skit on Zoom back in the 1970s?

But I digress.  :)  )

  • "But I'll be late!"

At this point, I reiterated his responsibilities and walked away. 

HS1 began cleaning, and finished it within 2 minutes.  He was ready for school on time.

And how can you apply this to your kids?

Think about….the moral of this story.

Somethings….are debatable.

Other things….are required.

And if you fail at taking ownership of your responsibilities, unless there's a darned good excuse like you fell into a black hole and only recently returned home…

You deal with the consequences.

Period, end of statement ("you", of course, being your kid).  Remember, you do your child a great disservice if you let them get away with shirking their responsibilities, and/or trying to burden *you* with ownership of *their* problems.

I do have to admit, however, answering everything with:

  • "Not my problem!"

…It did highlight to HS1 that I refuse to take ownership of his responsibilities.  They're *his*, not mine…and as such, he must rise to the occasion.

So, if you see me today, feel free to ask what's my problem.

Or not.  :)

What's some of your parental nicknames?

Parent Powerfully,

— MamaBear