RANT – The #1 Stupidest Parenting Fail… Are YOU Guilty of This?

Sometimes…I confess.

MamaBear just utterly despises namby-pamby, wimpy pathetic parents who lack the brass-plated balls to inspire their kids….in the *right* way.

Let me explain.  I now decree the following.

Children can scientifically be divided into 3 easy-to-generalize categories.

Leaders, Followers and Independents.

  • Leaders are those kids around whom their peers gather.  They say "jump", the other kids say, "How high?  And while I'm in the air, might I massage your feet at the same time, pretty please?"

Yep, I'm sayin'.

  • Followers are those sad pathetic excuses for carbon-based life-forms who waste oxygen and who blindly follow others without thinking.  They live to be told what to do, when to do it, and how to then worship the leaders at the completion of it.


  • Independents are kids who think for themselves and both refuse to be led by the leaders or craven lemmingize with the followers.  Their attitude is to live life as they see fit; whomever likes them is welcome to be friends, and whomever doesn't….hell, it's their loss indeed.

In my family, HD1 and HD2 and HS1 and HS2 are all independents.

True, there was a time when HD2 showed a tendency to be a follower; luckily I recognized that when she was in 2nd grade and crushed that tendency dramatically (it was easily done, actually; I merely spent a huge amount of time figuratively beating into her her own personal greatness and magnificence, and how if someone doesn't like her, that someone is a damned fool idjut.  It worked beautifully; HD2, as you already know from reading my blog, is my bonafide space alien who lives life to the fullest and makes no apologies for herself).

But I digress.  🙂

With the above as an introduction, let me now regale you with the #1 stupidest parenting fail.

And it's this.

Parents who dismally *fail* to lead by example.

  • It's truly nauseating. 

Contrary to what some parenting gurus would like you to believe, kids are *not* born with an innate sense of right and wrong.

Kids are *not* born knowing how to think about others if that means they themselves might get hurt in the process.

Kids are *not* born understanding empathy!

Kids need to be taught.

They need to be led by example.

And who's the biggest example in their lives?

You are.

The all-powerful parent.

Tell me now, and tell me seriously.

How are you leading your child by example?

If you see an injustice happening while walking with your child outside, do you….act?

  • Or do you ignore it, tell your kid, that's not *my* problem, and walk away?

If you see a friend treating another like moose feces, do you get up in that friends' face and say, "HEY!  That's just *not* right!"

  • Or do you shrug your shoulders and say, well, they're adults, what can I do?


The very worst thing you as a parent can do is fail to guide your child, lead by example, and walk the walk you talk.

After all, they're the ones who make up our next generation…and they're also the ones who will take care of *you* when you become 'way elderly in the future!

You see….

You *always* want to ensure your kids not only know right from wrong, but also have the backbone to take a stand and make a difference.

It only takes one small example to inspire others.

Our society recently saw this in action!  To wit:

Jennifer McKendrick, Pennsylvania Photographer, Refuses To Photograph Teen Bullies

…A Pennsylvania photographer has chosen not to photograph a group of high school girls for their senior portraits after she found evidence of the teens bullying other students on Facebook.

Jennifer McKendrick, from Indiana County, Pa., wrote on her own Facebook page earlier this week that she came across another Facebook page with nasty comments from four high school girls whose names matched her scheduled clients.

She emailed the girls and their parents to cancel their senior photo shoots, while including screenshots of their comments to explain why she was calling off the session.

McKendrick wrote more about her decision on her personal blog in a post titled "I Won't Photograph Ugly People." …MORE…

Think about this for a moment, okay?

This photographer saw a group of high school seniors bullying another on Facebook…and refused to have them as a client.

She blogged about it over at "I won't photograph ugly people".

Now *that*…..is admirable….beyond mortal comprehension.

There's been lots of talk about her already:

I especially like the comment at

to wit:

…Especially on the topic of bullying. We all love to wring our hands about mean behavior in kids, but few of us really do anything about it. And the fact is that grownups too often are setting the standard for dissing other people. That includes, for example, parents gossiping about neighbors in front of their kids. It also includes politicians. Our state legislators were extremely quick to pass the nation's sternest anti-bullying law for schools. But just listen to the language they use when talking to and about each other. It's easier to prescribe for others than to take responsibility for our own actions….MORE…

See that quote?

We all love to wring our hands about mean behavior in kids, but few of us really do anything about it.

So now…

You.  Tell.  Me.

Are *you* leading your child by example?

And if not….why the *hell* are you a parent in the first place?

It's something to think about…indeed.

Parent powerfully,

— MamaBear

ps – speaking about bullying, have you seen:

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