I think everyone plays around with the idea of suicide at one point in their lives…don't you?
The second-to-last time I ever thought about suicide was when I was 20 years old, a junior, at college. I vividly remember taking out my hunting knife, staring at the blade, and then saying to myself:
"Jeepers, that would hurt."
I was smart enough to go for counseling the next day.
The last time I thought about suicide was….yesterday.
True, it was not a *serious* thought.
It was more along the lines of, if I could wish away, never to return:
- My family
- My children
- My best friends
Wow, I would have been thrilled.
Yep, as you can tell, it was one of those days….bigtime.
Now, I'm mature enough to recognize those feelings were pure self-pity, but you know?
Sometimes….feeling sorry for yourself can be very healing indeed…and allow you to process everything and eventually, simply let those self-destructive feelings just plain *go*.
In hindsight, yesterday for me was a perfect storm of things gone horribly wrong, lots of misunderstandings and the like.
Today, I can recognize and understand each step that brought me closer to despair, and can even recognize what I *could* possibly have chosen to do differently (ie…give myself permission to haul myself out of despair and show my usual courage. Which, alas, I choose *not* to do).
Which makes me realize, suicide is *never* the answer. It sure is tempting sometimes, mind you….but it's the ultimate….>unforgiving< solution.
You see, it's not how I feel about others…it's also about how others view me.
Looking at it logically, I'm loved and valued and treasured by a number of people, many of whom would be devastated if I ever choose to remove myself from this world.
So suicide never just affects one single person….it emotionally kills bunches of the people you love as well.
As a mature adult, I can understand this and honor this bigtime.
Which brings me to the point of this post.
Yesterday, the following article appeared in the news.
…TRENTON — The lawyer for a former Rutgers University student accused of using a webcam to spy on his roommate’s same-sex encounter wants the case dropped because he claims prosecutors withheld evidence.
Dharun Ravi is charged with invasion of privacy and bias intimidation.
Tyler Clementi killed himself days after the alleged spying. The 18-year-old’s death sparked a nationwide conversation about bullying against young gays….MORE….
If you're not aware of this case, Tyler was a gay freshman at Rutgers who committed suicide after his roommate broadcasted his private moments to the world.
You can read more here:
and see the news coverage at:
It's sad beyond belief.
And it really drives home the point….
- Your kids' age doesn't matter.
- Your kids' gender doesn't matter
- Your kids sexual orientation doesn't matter.
At some point or another in their lives…
They'll toy with the idea of suicide.
It might be harmless, like mine yesterday was….
It might be viewed as the *only solution* to get them out of their current heart-aching state.
Always keep the communication doors open with your children! And when you see them struggling with issues you might brush off as minor and trivial, remember:
It doesn't make a damn bit of difference how *you* believe they should act/react; what matters is their feelings instead. After all, they're the ones living it.
If you feel your child is in danger of suicide, *immediately* (as in,why are you still reading?) call:
That's the National Suicide Prevention Hotline.
State and Zip code based crisis centers can be found over at the Crisis Center Location.
To learn more about teen suicide, check out these resources too:
In closing, remember, kids by being kids…lack the maturity to realize that time heals all wounds…and that this too, shall pass.
And if they think there's no other answer available to them, the world will have lost something precious indeed.
Life sucks sometimes, you know….and it's virtually impossible to be cheerful every minute of every day.
Teach your children that there's no dishonor in reaching out for help…and that you're with them, every step of the way.
It might be the catalyst they need to start themselves healing.